Have you ever been in a meeting a struggled to get a word in? Have you been frustrated as you know the point you want to make is important? Have you ever been the only diverse person the room?
If you said yes to any of the above questions, we know how difficult it can be.
Overcoming centuries of institutional practices and stereotypes can be one of the biggest uphill battles of our professional careers.
Many of us have been conditioned during our youth to “be seen and not heard”, to be polite and not make people feel uncomfortable, to speak only when spoken to, or even worse, to be grateful that we are even allowed to be in the room.
Diversity is proven to generate better ideas and outcomes however this can be hard to achieve if people cannot find the space in the conversation to contribute. This may be due to being overly polite, cultural nuances, a lack of confidence or even de-valuing our own input.
So how can you get your voice heard at the table?
Here are some tried and tested practical strategies.
- Using your physicality
Sometimes it can take a dramatic signal to get your voice heard at the table, especially if you are a vertically challenged person. Making yourself bigger in a meeting can provide a greater presence and therefore make it easier to attract attention when you want to speak. This can mean taking up the right allocated space on the table with your things. Sitting tall in your seat with elbows out across the table. Even to the point of standing up and then speaking, as the act of standing indicates to those in the room you want the floor, and they usually yield it based on your action. (Note the latter should not be used as a regular tool but reserved for those special occasions).
- The gesture
In line with using a cue, making eye contact with the meeting chair and lifting your hand or finger to signal you would like to speak. This places the onus on the chair to create the space for your contribution. Raising your hand is another effective way of indicating your intent to speak and placing the onus of others in the room to make way for your contribution.
- The show and tell
While other people discuss their ideas or shoot from the hip, this gives you time to deeply consider your value add to the discussion. Once you know what it is, write it down on a blank piece of paper and hold it up. This gives a visual cue of your contribution and readiness to speak about it. Alternatively, if there is a white board in the room, get up and start writing on the board. You will be surprised at how quickly the conversation stops as people divert their attention and interest to what you are doing.
- Have a champion in the room
If you feel uncomfortable interrupting conversation, consider having a champion in the room. This could mean meeting with them prior to go through the agenda and put your position forward. This allows the champion to prime people in the room for your contribution and open the space for you to speak.
- Form alliances in the room
In male dominated meetings it can be difficult for women to interject or drive the conversation. Forming alliances with other people in the room can help with this. This can be achieved either through agreement where a group of people decide to support each other actively during the meeting, or by stealth, where you start the snowball effect by reinforcing the value someone has said and build on it.
Being frozen out of the conversation can be frustrating especially if you have a pertinent point to make. We all know better decisions are made when people are able to make their valuable contribution. This requires space to be created for everyone to be heard at the table. These tips and tricks will change your life, so be ready to make that contribution and have your voice be heard!
Bio
Marion Burchell is a seasoned executive and board member. She has worked predominantly in male dominated industries and is regularly invited as a keynote to inspire people based on her experiences. She provides leadership, confidence and ethics programs to organisations and industry groups. (Link to website)